186 definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

A crummy soccer mom who hogs the left lane of any multi-lane road while she prattles on the cell phone.
Cassidy the arrogant soccer mom is this town's most egregious road hog. She will not move over into the right lane to let anyone pass.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
A beverage that can not be purchased, but only rented.
As Jimmy Jack headed for the can, he told his buddy, "Watch my beer, Ermal. I'm goin' to pay my rent."
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
The mating call of the corn holing faggot.
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
Not wanting to waste a lot of time talking, Armistead traipsed into a gay bar, lifted his leg a trifle, and blasted out a tremendous fart. The stentorian trumpet call echoed through the room and drew many approving glances.

Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"

Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:

Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.

He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,

Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.

"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
A polite excuse for blasting a fart.

Compare with step on a duck.
POOOOT! Oh, excuse me ladies, I just stepped on a frog.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 12, 2005
A banana hammock. A jewelbox (for the family jewels).
Bernie wore only a jockstrap on the float in the Poofters on Parade parade.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 12, 2005
A mild, tame, weak-flavored sauce used to add piquancy to food.
A tablespoon of Tobasco sauce will add some life to bacon, sausage, and potatoes.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 06, 2005
A large brush used to clean a commode. A toilet brush.

... But everything's big in Texas!
Homer scrubbed his toilet pot with a Texas toothbrush before his parents came to visit.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 06, 2005

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