n. A sudden, usually unnoticeable, expulsion of feces from one's anus, similar in quality to diarrhea. Black in color and containing no solid matter whatsoever, the phantom leaves a burning sensation inside the subject after it has run its course. It can most often be mistaken for urination by those nearby, but the foul odor and seemingly infinite wipe-time are clear signs.
v. to phantom - To disharge feces in the form of the phantom.
"I ate a chicken bowl this morning, and an hour later I had the phantom."
"I was graced by the phantom's presence in my chambers this morning. Looks like it's laundry day for me."
"I phantomed when I got home, that was just too much hot sauce."
n. A waffle found in one's trousers (or other article worn on the lower region of the body). This waffle is usually a product of digestion and excretion of human waste (that once consisted of a waffle, possibly Belgian).
n. A derogatory slang term used as a metaphor when comparing one to a trouser waffle (see above). This is usually used in reference to a foolish deed done by another.
"Scott is such a trouser waffle, he never does anything."
"Quit kicking yourself in the upper quartiles, you trouser waffle."