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7 definitions by Bulbous Jack H

 
1.
To hack flem in the throat and spit with extreme gusto.
I used my loog for lubricant during anal penetration.
by Bulbous Jack H October 11, 2009
 
2.
Whilst sprinting in the nude, one must leap spread eagle and land ass-hole first on the corner of any angular object and then continue to slide forward.
Jack took one look at his mom's bureau and decided to wax the curb.
by Bulbous Jack H October 11, 2009
 
3.
To arch one's back at a grotesque angle while ejaculating in an acrh-like faqshion.
Yo, last night I pulled off the dualing rainbow - my Mom was not pleased.
by bulbous Jack H October 11, 2009
 
4.
Wait until an unsuspecting fool falls asleep with their mouth open. In the early morning hours - rip your underwear off, place your asshole flush against their open mouth, and fart as hard as you can.

This will usually result in the victim violently coughing, and having intense diarrhea.
Today I performed the old Morning Glory prank. My roommate Todd was coughing and shitting himself all day. What an idiot.

Yesterday, I tried pulling of the ol' Morning Glory trick, but my friends mom caught me ripping my underwear off and told me to go home.
by Bulbous Jack H December 20, 2011
 
5.
As opposed to the blumpkin, in which a dude gets his cock sucked while taking a dump, a bluffkin is:

a) the act in which a dude believes that his lady is going to suck his cock whilst he is taking a dump and instead, she leaves him alone such that he only takes a dump el solo;

b) the act in which a dude convinces his lady to suck his cock while he takes a dump, but doesn't actually poop.
1) I was totally gonna give my boyfriend a blumpkin, but he never pooped and thus, bluffkinned me.

2) Dude, my girlfriend gave me a bluffkin last night. I was so ready to shit and cum at the same time its not even funny. But she denied me the blumpkin. Bitch.
by Bulbous Jack H November 17, 2011
 
6.
To have such an intense orgasm, one loses all control over their bowels.

To ejaculate and shard at the same time.
Dude, last night I was beating off so hard I ejacula-sharded! Afterward, I had to throw my pants in the trash.
by Bulbous Jack H November 15, 2011
 
7.
Whilst standing at the stove cooking some bacon for a hearty breakfast one "serves," i.e. ejaculates in their lady's mouth, who has been on her knees providing oral stimulation. Usually performed by weightlifting types who want all the bacon for themselves and force their lady to have semen for breakfast.
1) I gave my girlfriend the stand and serve this morning before she went to work. She had to get another shower because she was covered in bacon grease and my semen.

2) Lady: Can't you cook something besides bacon while you stand and serve me?

Man: No Slut! I need that protein for my squat tonight!
by Bulbous Jack H November 15, 2011