1 definition by Bslof

Top Definition
The Sacramento Kings are a Sacramento, California basketball team.
2004-2005 season saw the departure of a lot of the best players, and incoming of one good one from all the trades (Mogley Bear or something to that matter) and one good rookie (Kevin Martin). The trades shook the Kings this season, because Geoff Petrie is reported to use a lot of cocaine and LSD when making dumb, freaking choices. Also in the season, there were plans to move the Kings Stadium, Arco Arena, elsewhere, such as across the street from the same exact place. Once again, there were rumors of moving the Kings to another city, but the Maloof Brothers denied this in a half-hearted manner (Which means their moving on out). The Kings are having a solid season, except for the fact that they play so that the first three quarters don't really count or matter, usually coming up with an upset victory or defeat in the last five, testosterone-filled minutes. Even more controversy happens, when missed referee calls happen, mainly from the opposing team clearly goal tending shots. Of course, the refs are too busy trying to come up with fake calls to p.o. the players who "made" them (once again, another Geoff Petrie decision, once again he's tripping on the cocaine and LSD). Thanks to a president who trades anyone who looks like an elephant or a dancing leprechaun when he hallucinates, owners who "love Sacramento", yet clearly couldn't give a flying shit about Sac-town, and a coach who's rod up his ass has a rod up it's own ass and just asking him to switch up the players frightens and confuses him, the Sacramento Kings will most likely play freaking hard, shoot a lot of free throws and three-pointers, get beat by a team who's captain is a white guy with a mullet who tries to be black, even though his name clearly is "Steve", and then have an upset defeat after having biased referees lose the Playoffs for them, thus having the Kings hold a press conference saying "Sacramento is a great team to play for and we'll get them next year" as they always say. Basically, if the game wasn't so commercialized and crammed with so much b.s. to twist a guy's balls for hours, the Kings would be even more of a bitchingly amazing team, and a Playoff-winning one, too. It’s a shame that will never happen, though.

There's also a couple of white guys on the team, and the captain is the second professional basketball captain to be named "Peja Stojakovich", second after Peja Stojakovich of another professional basketball team.

And Geoff Petrie sucks.
The Sacramento Kings will someday band together and destroy Geoff Petrie, the Maloofs and that old, white guy who's the coach...someday.
by Bslof February 24, 2005
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