8 definitions by Bructus

Top Definition
Action when a police officer has his restraints on a person tight enough to be secure, then ratchets them down just a little further to the point of discomfort, usu. because the offender did something to piss off said officer.
When they finally caught the perp, Officer Barrelgutz threw a dick click on the guy's cuffs for making his fat ass run.
by Bructus September 29, 2010

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A half-brother who is also your cousin. The male offspring resulting when your sperm donor also impregnated your mom's sister. The male version of a couster.
I used to get along really well with my cousin Jake, until I found out we had the same dad. Now he's my brosin, and it's kinda awkward.
by Bructus August 16, 2010

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The vaginal gestapo are a group of women in a work or school setting who subscribe to the belief that they are better or smarter than the men around them. Because of the intelligence and wisdom vested in them by the power of their thundery vaginas, the vaginal gestapo believe that the men around them should do their bidding.
Greg (talking on the phone): What's that screeching in the background, man? Do you need to get off the phone?

James: Don't sweat it. It's just the vaginal gestapo trying to volunteer me for extra work.

Greg: Dude, fuck that shit. Tell those bitches to do their own job.
by Bructus January 22, 2011

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A woman who, by virtue of having a baby with her, or is undeniably pregnant, has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is not a virgin. She has put out. At least once.
James: How bout that girl over there?

Greg: Naw, man, she's pushing a stroller.

James: C'mon! That just means she's a proven performer!
by Bructus January 20, 2011

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The drinking that ensues as a result of the depression created when state employees are sent home for monthly mandated days off without pay. Said drinking results in a condition known as being “furloughded” and brings with it temporary numbness and a feeling of euphoria. This condition is common in California and Washington State, other states are expected to follow.
Greg: You doin' anything today?

James: Naw, man. They made me take the day off without pay cuz of budget cuts. I got a fifth of Jack and a case of Rolling Rock. I'm gonna get furloughded.

Greg: I'm in!!!
by Bructus January 13, 2011

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Like cuddling up with someone, but over a phone. Which makes it even more worthless. Activity performed by people trying to validate a long-distance relationship, usually one that began online. Telespooning involves constantly calling or texting the other person in lieu of actual psysical contact. By constantly pestering the other person with communication, it is supposed to show that you care. Often a major sign of insecurity.
Guy #1: All he does on his lunch break is go out to his car and make a half-hour phone call. Who's he talking to every day?

Guy #2: He met this girl from Nevada online last month. He's telespooning with her. He is so whipped.
by Bructus December 20, 2010

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The act of failing or losing when it seemed a sure thing you had it made.
Dude 1: "Remember that one UFC fight with the Sumo wrestler and the little French guy? Sumo was squeezing the shit outta Frenchy! I thought his head was gonna pop!"

Dude 2: "Yeah, then the little guy squirted a punch 'tween fat bastard's moobs and totally busted his nose. Ref called a TKO."

Dude 1: Fatty totally snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, there.
by Bructus August 12, 2010

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