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3 definitions by Brokenheartmender

 
1.
A man that hails from the dark ages. Thinks all women are to be treated as whores and house slaves. Never asks for anyone elses opinion because he has all the right answers. Wears cheap suits and uses sub-par vocabulary. Drives old gas-guzzling cars or big-ass monster trucks. Eats only meat and cheese. Never tips wait staff well. Is the reason why gun control should never be enforced. Avoid at all costs.

Synonyms: Asshole, douchebag, tool, pervert
Girl 1: "Look at that douche wearing the Sears and Roebuck suit. Did he just actually wink at me and make an obscene gesture?"
Girl 2: "Yep, that one is a real Jackassopithecus"
by Brokenheartmender May 10, 2010
10 0
 
2.
This event occurs when you are stuck in traffic as a result of an accident on the three-mile bridge while emergency crews tend to the dead, dying or injured. All cars are at a complete stop and people get bored inside their vehicles so they step outside for some fresh bay air, talk amongst themselves about the poor suckers involved in the crash ,and generally get to know each other. It is a bonus if you happen to be near somone who has beer.
Bystander 1: "Hey man, you got a light?" ... "Crazy wreck, huh?"
Bystander 2: "Yeah man, ...looks like three or four cars up there piled on top of each other"
Bystander 1: "Man, I already told my old lady last week I was late because of a wreck on the bridge!" "She ain't NEVER gonna believe me now!"
Bystander 2: "Aw hell, man don't sweat it, here..have a beer"
Bystander 1: "Yeah, we'll just make this a bridge party"
by Brokenheartmender May 16, 2010
5 1
 
3.
noun. Cold-ol-ence. An expression of sympathy for someone experiencing a bad cold. Similar to condolence except this word is used expressly for someone who is sick.
Susan approaches her friend Caryn who is sneezing and her eyes are visibly swollen and red.

Susan: "Oh my, what is going on with you, Caryn?"

Caryn: "Aaachoo!!! Oh doe, I dink I hab a code"

Susan: "You poor dear, you have my coldolences"
by brokenheartmender January 18, 2011
0 1