76 definitions by Brett Burkhardt

A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.
Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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When people from the coasts have an attitude about people who live in the Midwest and the Midwest in general.
If you’re going to come to town with a big bag of coastal crap then why the fuck did you decide to go to college in Iowa?

Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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A piece of furniture or person that is infected with scabies.
“Dude, you gonna help me move up that couch we found out by the dumpster?”
“Nah, that looks like it’s a scabies sanctuary.”

Tara thought that sweet almost chair from the second hand store was a steal. Too bad for her, it was a scabies sanctuary.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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The perk one gets from giving big tips or being known for giving big tips.
Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.

Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.

We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.
With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.

Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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