People who associate themselves or often get associated with the so-called "gothic" movement, a musical style that evolved out of british post-punk and US punk, but which is now really a collection of very diversified, "darker" styles of more electronic or more guitar-ridden music. In "goth" clubs, original "gothic rock" styles got mixed with industrial/EBM music, New Wave and some alternative styles since the late 80ies. In the mid-90ies, labels and magazines promoted some so-called "gothic metal" and "industrial metal" bands out of commercial reasons, and because there were certain parallels in look and imagery of these bands to the gothic scene. In these Days, bands like Paradise Lost or Type o Negative, which were really "softer", sometimes romantic heavy metal bands were massively hyped, leading to newbies back then ignoring the original styles of the movement for those acts. In the Noughties, the metal trend waned and was replaced by another new trend towards a softer, melody-orientated form of EBM: "Future Pop" played by groups like VNV Nation and Apoptygma Berzerk. Additionally, very techno-orientated noise music by bands like Combichrist was getting heavy rotation in the clubs. Both styles are more accessible and easier to consume than former styles and tend to more and more replace all other styles of music associated with gothic scene in the club playlists, which leads to conflicts between "purists" and - usually somewhat younger - fans of the new style.
Actually, there is no proper definition of a special attitude, behaviour or quality of "goth" people. It's just the crowd which is into certain branches of the musical styles associated with goth, which is more or less openly involved in the visuals by dressing up sometimes or all the time in "gothic styles" and which is seen frequently in the nightclubs, at festivals and concerts. So all these narcisstic morons around here, trying to describe goths (i.e. themselves) as especially intelligent, more artistic or non-conformist as the rest are really just indulging themselves in pathetic attempts to talk others into sharing their own deluded self-perception.
If there is a positive attribute you can quite rightfully associate to goth, it should be an overall disinterest in open violence compared to "normal" club/party scenes, but there is usually a lot of behind-the-back bitching going on to compensate for that. Additionally, goth scene doesn't seem to take the same moronic pride in open homophobia as a lot of other poseur scenes, that's why some sexual deviants, like transsexuals and others may experience less open hate and aggression there. But they won't necessarily be easily integrated or get much attention in goth scene.
Besides that, you might easily find a lot of different typical "goth" characters in the scenes, it's not really easy to find a common denominator for those people.
Some are more nerdy types, some typical high-school loners, others are very vain and dandy-like, a lot of introverted, sometimes pretty boring fellas, some are more funny than you'd think at first, some (especially the EBM crowd) are pretty down-to-earth, hard-working, almost stolid types, a lot of very bitchy, moody girls.
Nowadays, some of this 00's techno/cyber crowd seems to be some lukewarm version of the urban hipster, without the intellectualism and the good taste but full of the deeply self-centered meaninglessness and a "consumerist" attitude towards culture.
Most of the definitions of the people around here who dislike goth and are carefully constructing a cherished prejudice about goth people for themselves, center on some perception of the goths as being the real conformists, maintaining individuality but dressing up and behaving all the same. This is essentially not a very individualistic and unique perception, as it has been ripped off the popular "South Park" series, where the Cure-loving creators of the show were really quite tongue-in-cheek about the mockery. But it has been taken drop-dead serious by many and has since repeatedly been barked at the goth crowd as some kind of eternal truth revealed by haters all over the net.
IT'S NOT ABOUT INDIVIDUALITY, STUPID! If you're into this style, you're full of passion for it. It's about a conglomerate of - for you - really fascinating music and styles (and admittedly a lot of stupid ones, too), you are so commited to, you just want to be a part of it, showing it just the same as you would show your wedding ring or a tattoo with the name of your lover. There is no problem with that fixed "goth" identity, because it's really up to yourself how you interpret it and fill it with life. You don't just do this do be AGAINST this or that, society, conformists or whatever, although you may personally "use" the style in that sense. It's much more a positive stance towards the styles of the scene that interest you and which you are individually contributing to by dressing up, making music, networking and so on. Nobody will EVER pay attention to you in this scene, if you are devoid of any surprises as a person and cling to some stereotypical behaviour you may associate with "being goth". That's not the way...
Moron: Hey, you think you're individualistic?
HA! I've seen through you goth fags. You all are wearing black clothes like a uniform. Look at my completely average clothes and my boring face. THAT'S a sign of non-conformity.
Goth: I conform to things that are important to me.
At least I HAVE something that's important to me, you know? Besides, I LOVE uniforms...
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