A human-like creature, usually
choosing the local gym as a habitat, that actively and aggressively seeks out females that they want to sleep with. Their activities
may include awkwardly staring at your body
parts, making awkward social advances in an attempt
to impress you, or acting like aggressive, arrogant tools that have such a bruised ego that every girl must think that they're gorgeous (when we really just
want to barf).
mostly either be meatheads
, or 40 year old, creepy, divorced
bachelor types that are in some kind of bizarre
mid-life crisis. They appear to be nice at first, talking to you about the weather, but will make you increasingly
more uncomfortable as they begin to violate your
personal space, make rude comments
/ openly hit on you, and make you happy that there's other
people around. This is often when you're trying to exercise and use body
language to tell them to leave. Add a friend or family member nearby to make the experience
more humiliating. Beware, for ridding yourself of a creeper is like removing a cockroach with
Recent testing has shown that creepers
are actually more similar to Neanderthals than
human beings. This was long speculated
by their actions alone, however.
You're on the treadmill one day, when you hear
an angry grunt from across the gym. You notice a meathead
tool lifting weights that you could
probably lift yourself, and think what a tool that guy is. However, you think nothing of it.
later, you notice him walking over to you. It's like the pit of doom ahead you want to avoid, but you're helpless against the incoming
creeper onslaught. You get a closer look at the 40 year
old, balding loser, but turn away, hoping desperately
that he is targeting someone else. Then, in the creepiest, most
annoying voice ever, you hear
the dreaded "Hi!"
You turn around, almost snapping your neck because your treadmill is still
going fast, and gaze at the perv.
He begins to talk about the weather, climbing
on the treadmill next to you and setting it to the lowest speed. He makes
a couple corny jokes, to which you fake laugh in order to be polite. Then, it begins.
"So, you look nice today."
(Stares awkwardly at sweaty shirt) "Umm... Thanks?"
"Do you come in here often?" (Or variants of that - never
He then tells you that he's divorced, and you feel sorry for whoever married this 40 year
who thinks college
girls would actually care about him.
You then say, nicely, "I'll see you later," ready to run out the door. You change the time you go to the gym just
to avoid the creep.