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5 definitions by Bitch Puddin'

 
1.
A LIE we tell ourselves after drinking too much and suffering through a hangover in the futile hope that one will never again suffer the hangover. It is also an indication that events proceeding the hangover consisted of many things awesome that came from what sober people would consider a bad idea. In all cases this statement is a lie, as the person will undoubtedly drink again.
Guy 1: I'm never drinking again

Guy 2: Shut up, you'll feel better after you eat breakfast.

Guy 1: Okay, what's for breakfast?

Guy 2: Eggo waffles and beer, we ran out of syrup so here's some more beer.

Guy 1: ...fuck
by Bitch Puddin' March 03, 2012
31 5
 
2.
Freedom is what your sperm cheer as they are ejaculated from your penis either during coitus or masturbation.
The other day I was procrasterbating, and when I came, my cum shouted "freedom".
by Bitch Puddin' November 09, 2010
35 15
 
3.
It is a logical fallacy that can be identified as when someone says something so absolutely ridiculous and stupid you just want to slap them with your dick because they seriously believe the shit they're saying.
My Roommate: Seriously, if Flash ran into space fast enough he would take all of the air with him.

Me: It really doesn't work that way.

My Roommate: You're fucking stupid, how the fuck did you even get into college?

Me: That is a textbook no true douchebag fallacy *dick slap to the face*
by Bitch Puddin' February 13, 2012
12 0
 
4.
A bathtub filled with ice.
dude 1: What happened to Steve after the party last night, he was so wasted.

dude 2: Didn't you hear, he woke up in a mexican hospital with one of his kidneys missing.
by Bitch Puddin' April 06, 2011
13 1
 
5.
A term used to describe what happens when the local government goes out and spends ridiculous amounts of money to 'give everyone a fair chance" and "end discrimination" where really all they're doing is trying to save their asses from getting sued by some whiny parent that bitches about everything by throwing money at the problem so they can say "look we're doing nice things, look at all the nice things, we're broke now, but hey look at how nice we are" the end result is usually something incredibly stupid, that doesn't actually accomplish anything and often time actually has the reverse effect of increasing discrimination and taking chances away from people, it also opens the gate for more lawsuits which leads to complete bankruptcy because suing someone is now a fad, which leads to the collapse of society and/or the terrorists have won and manbearpig rules the world until we get Harrison Ford to fuck an atomic fish until it goes super-critical and destroys manbearpig's tyrannical reign, unfortunately Elton John survives and is now in charge of your lunch program which is how minority priority leads to gay kids getting to have lunch before you.
Thanks to minority priority in public schools if a guy wants to pretend to be a girl he can use the girls locker room as well as the girls bathroom and its considered okay.
by Bitch Puddin' December 05, 2010
16 4