Used as a response to an unwelcomed chat-up line (or just an attempt to hit on you), gonatokamorkins are purposely bad "chat-up lines". Their purpose is to take the piss of the person trying to pick you up, making them leave in either embarrassment or confusion.
Gonatokamorkins can make no sense whatsoever, or they can also sound suggestive (or just plain dodgy), but then turn out to be meant quite literately. This often results in the person finding themselves in a situation that makes them feel rather stupid.
Some examples of gonatokamorkins:
- Do you want to Panini my bikini?
- Do you want to fudge my cookie?
- Do you want to sharpen my knife?
- Do you want to hit my interactive whiteboard?
- Can I play with your matches?
- How hard is your rock?
- Do you want to lick my penguin?
- Can I ride in your pope mobile?
- Where’s your secret passage?
- Do you want to melt my crayon?
Gonatokamorkins in use:
man at party: “Babe, you must be a criminal, it’s got to be illegal to look that good.”
girl at party: *winks* “Want to help me find my lion?” (that’s the gonatokamorkin)
man: *makes creepy cat-like noise and leads her upstairs to bedroom*
girl: *starts looking in wardrobe, under bed, etc*
man: “err… what are you doing?”
girl: “looking for my lion! Aren’t you going to help?”
man: *confused* “umm...” *leaves room*
girl: “eww, I just had some really creepy guy try to chat me up.”
girl’s friend: “Oh fun. How did you get rid of him?”
girl: “I used a gonatokamorkin.” *smiles* “You should have seen his face!”
friend: *laughs* “Oh, nice one.”
man’s friend: “so, did you get with that chick you were after earlier?”
man: “no, she was really weird, so I left.”
friend: “what did she do?”
man: “I used the old chat up line trick, and she seemed to go for it because she said one back. Something weird about ‘finding her lion’. Anyway, I figured she was up for it so I took her upstairs, but then she actually started… well, looking for her lion.”
friend: *laughs at his friend* “trust you to actually fall for that”