Scoopex is a term used to describe someone who purports to be a football supporter but never in fact goes to a ground to watch a game. This sort of person will generally only have latched on to a team after a team's success in a cup competition and is a classic example of a glory hunter. Armed with an armchair and a TV remote control, a Scoopex will watch his or her team on TV and actually believe they are supporting the team merely by pressing buttons.
A typical Scoopex will not support a local team, an example would be a Birmingham based person supporting a team in Liverpool. As this type of 'football supporter' does not have to travel, they will find themselves with a lot of spare time on their hands and this time is frequently used on Usenet or surfing the internet looking for porn.
A hamann occurs when there has been a problem and then another problem occurs which everyone thinks will make matters worse, however the reverse happens and the new problem rectifies the original one. Its meaning originates from the 1995 European Champions League Final between Liverpool and AC Milan. Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez had made a tactical blunder and had selected a poor team. Injury to one of Liverpool's better players Steve Finnan however forced him to bring on Dietmar Hamann who was on the bench. At the time Liverpool were 3-0 down. Instead of making matters worse, the introduction of Hamann inspired Liverpool for 6 minutes during which time they equalised. They then went on to defend with 11 men for the rest of the match and then fluked the cup on penalties.
I had a flat tyre last night and while I was changing it I trapped my finger in the jack and had to go to hospital. It turned into a hamann for me though cos I chatted up one of the nurses and got invited back to her flat for 'coffee'!
My team were getting beat 2-0 by our local rivals, then to make matters worse I acted like a right idiot and dropped the ball on to a player's head and he scored. It turned into a great hamann though as I got £250 from 'You've Been Framed' for the video clip!