14 definitions by Benny Twadge

A wrestler from Ghana who pretends to be Jamaican.
What's the name of that Jamaican wrestler with the mop on his head?

That's Kofi Kingston and he's no Jamaican. He's from Ghana, which is only about 5,000 miles from Jamaica.
by Benny Twadge May 04, 2009
A short, stocky man with a shaved head. Close to pensionable age but believes himself to be young and with-it. Drives a small white van. He thinks its cool to cook food outside with his drag-act "girlfriend", believing that sharing a garlic bread at a green plastic table is all that is required for a barbecue. Also known as Mr Boring, Mr Ugly and The Arsehole.
Pork Scotch is a total twat
Its gay to wear a buffalo hat
Your girlfriend's really a man in drag
Your boring face makes people gag
by Benny Twadge April 18, 2009
A 7-foot tall cretin with giant, flapping tabs. A mentally retarded twat that can eat 3 fried pigs for breakfast and is therefore detested by its grandfather's wife, who takes the piss out of its ridiculous crash-helmet hairstyle.
Why is there nothing in the fridge, Trace?

We've had a visit from Bullivant. It was hungry after its 3-pig breakfast.
by Benny Twadge May 03, 2009
A variety of chimp which has mastered the rudiments of speech. These creatures inhabit urban areas, attracted to cities by burger bars such as McDonald's. They can be trained to drive motor vehicles, which they frequently steal. Also known as nignogs.
My car's been nicked!

Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
by Benny Twadge April 27, 2009
Abbreviation of "nignog retard". A spasticated black shit with diarrhoea-juice for brains. Walks around with its gob wide open for catching flies. Only speaks when stating the bloody obvious, for example when it sees someone struggling with 15 Asda carrier bags and asks them "Have you been shopping?".
Have you seen that gormless black shit with its gob wide open?

Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.
by Benny Twadge May 03, 2009
Fried chicken and rice and pea. These food items are never paid for, always stolen, because as everyone knows "chimp no need pay mon".
Chimp in takeaway: me wan' fried chicken and rice and pea mon.

Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.

Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
The legendary drivers of Maltby lorries who display Pork Scotch's cone in the back in order to taunt important security guards and provide amusement to everyone else. Otherwise known as comic geniuses.
Flobule: Look Dad, the cone's still there! Why don't they take it out?

Dad: Because they're heroes, son. Maltby heroes.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009

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