Eric Cartman. He is generally known simply as Cartman.
Eric Cartman is an extremely fat kid who lives in South Park, Colorado. His mother/father is known to be a slut, and he is one of four boys who star in a show called...
Don't call me fat, you butt-fucking son-of-a-bitch!
The absolutely greatest comedian ever to grace the Earth with his presence.
"I'd like to point out that during the twentieth century, white, God-fearing, predominately Christian Europe produced Lenin, Stalin, Franco, Hitler and Mussolini."
Someone who seriously pisses you off.
Don't you think <insert name of someone you don't like> is a shitfaced motherfucking cocksucking dickhead?
The absolute best parody movie that I've ever laid eyes on.
It's basically a mix of a parody of The Ring, a parody of Signs, a parody of Eight Mile, and a parody of a whole lot of other movies.
Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through. Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out. I'm a white boy, but my neck is red. I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread. My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail. Me and Buffy spend every winter in Vail. How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. UH! And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero. I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm, Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him. I can't dance, I wear khaki pants, my middle name's Lance, my grandma's from France. So maybe I'm whack 'cause my skin ain't black, but you can't talk smack 'cause whitey just struck back!
The absolute best animated character ever. He stars in the absolute best animated show ever, Family Guy. I am obsessed with that show. If anyone disses Family Guy in my presence, I become very, very angry, and generally do things that I later regret.
Peter Griffin lives with his wife, Lois, and his three kids, Chris, Meg and Stewie, in Quahog, Rhode Island (and sometimes Petoria). He works at Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory.
I salute him.
One of Peter Griffin's quotes:
"But still this house is freak-in' sweeeeeeeeeet!!"
A rapper. That's all I'm going to say. Nothing positive, nothing negative.
Actually, I lied. I am going to say something positive. Jay-Z is a brilliant rapper who deserves all the credit for making rap what it was at its peak. It kind of sucks today, so I switched to hard rock, but Jay-Z made rapping acceptable when I was into it. He was the best damn rapper anyone's ever come up with, and I salute him.
My favorite song by Jay-Z is 99 Problems.
A rather pathetic band that no one really likes. See Simple Plan
You're going to play Good Charlotte at your party? You loser!