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11 definitions by Ben Faulding

 
1.
The mental process of estimating the respective weights of the other passengers in an elevator. Then comparing it to the maximum weight posted next to the fire inspection sign to see if its safe.
After that big fat guy and the kid in the wheel chair got on, I redid the Elevator Arithmetic and decided I was going to take the stairs.
by Ben Faulding March 21, 2006
 
2.
When a normally mundane activity (ie. food shopping or doing laundry) is given social significance when accompanied by a love\sexual interest. It can be a good way to fit semblance of a social life into a young urbanites packed schedule, or can be a way of breaking the ice.
I wanted to hang out with Mary, but I had to walk my neighboors dogs so i took her with me. It was a laundry date.
by Ben Faulding September 24, 2005
 
3.
Trying to ridicule a person or thing by repeating twice, but during the second repetition replace the first consonant(s) with s-h-m.
Often used by speakers or decendents of people who speak Yiddish and German. Since a lot of words an names start with shm.
Hugo: You know you really shouldn't do that any more. You might go to prison.
Chester: Prison Shmison.
Hugo: No seriously man. I think I saw a cop.
Chester: Cop shmop
Hugo: You know, that doesn't always work. You can't solve all your problems by word shmerding them.
by Ben faulding April 29, 2006
 
4.
A vocabulary that includes obscure polysyllabic words that are often used incorrectly and/or out of their proper context. Specifically with people who don’t have the elloquence or articulate speech to match it.
Named so, because it was first observed with Mike Tyson after he finished a prison sentence for rape. One could imagine him sitting in his jail cell with nothing to do but read his dictionary.
From Tv: Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

Martha: Did he just use the words impetuous and Impregnable
Lucius: Thats his prison vocabulary
by Ben faulding April 29, 2006
 
5.
1. Using spanglish while trying to have a conversation in either English or Spanish.
2. Through conversation when any two languages spoken by one or more participents in a conversation are mixed.
Spanish teacher: Hola Patrick, puedo ayudarse(Can I help you)
Patrick: err um si,Senora Goldman, uhh Donde esta ..The library
Spanish teacher: Try it again Patrick this time don't Spanglishize it.
by Ben Faulding January 09, 2006
 
6.
When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina
Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.
by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005
 
7.
1. The constant use of bad grammar in speech or writing.
Have you heard that kid talk?
Yeah, its terrible his grammar is so bad I can't understand a thing he's saying. Its like language-rape.
by Ben Faulding January 09, 2006