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12 definitions by Baron6489

 
1.
The most famous case of the effects of ADHD on human development and functionality. Bay's ADHD affliction is often reflected in his films.
Guy 1: Dude this movie is twitchy and sporadic. It jumps from place to place and nothing is in frame for longer than five seconds.
Guy 2: Yeah, that's Michael Bay for you. Don't blame him though, he's got a problem.
by Baron6489 August 05, 2009
470 88
 
2.
Something that Michael Bay tries to avoid at all cost. Even when confronted.
Screenwriter: Do you know of anyone interested in directing my screenplay?
Michael Bay: I could do it.
Screenwriter: Really? It will be a challenge. There are over fifteen characters with fleshed out backgrounds and over 10 different detailed settings in which the story takes place, not to mention the mutiple plot twists and character developments.
Michael Bay: Any explosions?
Screenwriter: Nope. None at all.
Michael Bay: *checks schedule* Yeah I just realized I'm busy on that date.
Screenwriter: But I didn.......
Michael Bay: O.K. bye!
*Michael Bay runs away*
by Baron6489 August 04, 2009
279 146
 
3.
The sequel to the 2007 summer blockbuster Transformers. Michael Bay is back at the helm in the director's chair and Steven Spielberg once again serves as Executive Producer. The budget for this massive special effects and action sequence laden sequel is reported to be at a whopping $200 Million, which is $50 Million more than the original, not that much considering the number of new (and somewhat interchangable) robots.

There is even less of a plot this time around and even more emphasis on action sequences and VFX. The dialogue is still cheesy and the acting is still lame. In the first movie the balance was about 60/40 Action-Story Ratio. This time it's at about 80/20 Action-Story Ratio. To call it a cohesive script is an insult to writers everywhere. Not to mention the numerous geographical lapses and robotic inconsistencies. The writers couldn't even keep track of their own yarn they're spinning. It can be best described as VAGUE PLOT POINTS SURROUNDED BY 10-15 MINUTE ACTION SEQUENCES.

The "plot" is as follows:

--The Fallen sought to destroy our solar system in order to harvest the Energon from our Sun over 17,000 years ago.

--The Order of the Primes teamed up with the indigenous humans in order to stop him.

--The Fallen is defeated. He retreats and waits for his time to re-emerge and exact REVENGE. Humanity doesn't bother to record any of these events into history.

--Sam Witwicky goes off to an East Coast College to study Astronomy. His parents aid in his moving and dog humping/pot brownie jokes commence.

--Mikaela, who doesn't have the funds to join Sam, stays behind to work at her fathers auto shop.

--Before leaving, Sam finds a shard of the Allspark that somehow hasn't been found until now.

--After a battle in the kitchen with appliances that were brought to life by the shard, Sam gives Mikaela the shard in hopes of hiding it away where it can't be used.

--Meanwhile the Decepticon Soundwave hacks a military satellite to find the location of another Allspark shard.

--Soundwave dispatches Ravage to attack and infiltrate a military base in order to retrieve the shard. Ravage with the help of Reedman steal the shard.

--With the shard, the Decepticons are successful in locating and reviving Megatron.

--Megatron escapes Earth's atmosphere and heads to a moonbase with what looks like a crashed ship. Starscream and The Fallen lay in wait there for Megatron's arrival.

--The Fallen reveals that he needs Megatron to kill Optimus for him since only a Prime can defeat The Fallen.

--After a battle in the forests Megatron impales Optimus, killing him.

--Meanwhile Sam goes on a search for the "Matrix of Leadership", the only object besides an Allspark shard that can resurrect a Transformer, to revive Optimus.

--The Fallen seizes control and orders Sam to be turned over to him and in turn he'd offer Civilization some sort of Sanctuary.

--The Group which now consists of Mikaela, Sam, Leo, Simmons, The Twins try to find a Seeker by the name of Jetfire a former Decepticon that finds sources of Energon and can also open muti-dimensional space bridges.

--With Jetfire's help Sam and the gang find the Matrix only for it to crumble to dust in his hands.

--Sam's parents get kidnapped in Paris. (who cares?)

--A battle at the Pyramids of Giza Complex ensues and Sam is killed (momentarily) by friendly fire.

--Sam meets the Order of the Primes and it's revealed that he passed a courage test (or some bullshit) and is revived next to a restored Matrix of Leadership.

--Optimus Prime is revived a mortally wounded Jetfire sacrifices himself in order to bond with Optimus and make him stronger.

--The Constructicons form Devastator and attempt to uncover the Sun Harvester by destroying the Pyramids of Giza, which were built around it.

--Devastator has five minutes of screentime before he's destroyed by an experimental railgun.

--The Final battle also only lasts about five minutes. Prime rips off Megatron's arm. Prime then pulls The Fallen's face off and punches out his spark, killing him.

--Sam returns to College

--THE END

The fact that Spielberg was impressed with this makes me think that he should be shipped to an assisted living home ASAP. Also apparent was the fact that Bay was given too much leeway on this and the overall film suffers. The studio should have split it into two parts, The Action and The Story. Bring in someone credible to develop the story/dialogue parts and let Bay work on his explosions, since that's all he cares about. A third one is inevitable and it's a shame since the foundation that was created for the franchise in the first movie was demolished in this movie.
Guy 1: Hey I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen last night.
Guy 2: How was it?
Guy 1: So-So. Not as good as the First one.
Guy 2: How would you sum it up?
Guy 1: BOOM!!!!!
Guy 2: But Megan Fox was still smoking hot in it, right?
Guy 1: Eh, the novelty is wearing off.
Guy 2: Dude, do you know how gay you sound right now?
Guy 1: When you get down to it, she couldn't save the movie on her hotness alone. That is too much for one to bear.
Guy 2: Damn. Hope the thi.....
Guy 1: Don't you even say it!
by Baron6489 August 03, 2009
183 50
 
4.
A phrase coined by NFL analyst to describe the ongoing episodic soap-opera like exploits of Brett Favre during the NFL's 2008 off-season through the NFL's 2009 off-season following his first retirement from professional football on March 4th 2008.

FIRST EPISODE: On March 4th, 2008 Brett Favre retires from professional football and retires as a member of the Green Bay Packers. He stated that the reasons were because the chances of making the Super Bowl were slim. He also stated (and later contradicted) that the decision was not based on anything the Packers did or didn't do.

SECOND EPISODE: On July 2nd media rumors buzzed about a possible return to the Packers and a comeback for Favre.

THIRD EPISODE: July 11th 2008, Favre sent a letter to Packer GM Ted Thompson asking for his unconditonal release, which wasn't granted. Thompson stated Green Bay had made commitments to Aaron Rodgers that he wouldn't break. Favre's contract gave him leverage to void any trade by not reporting to the camp of said team.

FOURTH EPISODE: July 14th, Favre appears in an interview with Greta Van Susteren. He states that he never fully commited to retirement and felt guilty of retiring too soon. He also stated that he was pressured by the Packers organization to make a decision before the Draft and the start of the Free Agent signing period. Favre stated that the Packers have moved on and they should let him do the same.

FIFTH EPISODE: July 15th, in the second part of the Greta Van Susteren interview Favre expressed frustration with the Packers management and said he's fully commited to playing football.

SIXTH EPISODE: Packers file Tampering charges against the Minnesota Vikings alleging improper communications between Offensive Coordinator Darrell Bevell and Favre. An investigation by Roger Goodell ruled that there hadn't been any violation of Tampering rules.

SEVENTH EPISODE: Favre formally files for reinstatement in the NFL on July 29th 2008.

EIGHTH EPISODE: Commisioner Goodell approves Favres reinstatement request. Favre then attends Packers training camp. After discussion between Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson, both agree that it is best to part ways with Favre.

NINTH EPISODE: After negotiations with the New York Jets and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Green Bay trades Favre to the New York Jets for a conditional fourth round pick in the 2009 NFL Draft.

TENTH EPISODE: After an 8-3 start the New York Jets 2008 season ends in disappointment with the Jets losing four of their last five and an end of the season record of 9-7. The Jets miss the play-offs but improved dramatically on the 2007 season in which they went 4-12.

ELEVENTH EPISODE: On December 29th 2008, Favre complained of shoulder pain. An MRI revealed a torn bicep tendon in his right shoulder. Although Favre would only need arthroscopic procedure and not a major surgery.

TWELFTH EPISODE: Favre told New York Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum that they should look in a new direction regarding their QB situation.

THIRTEENTH EPISODE: Favre told the New York Jets that he was retiring after 18 seasons.

FOURTEENTH EPISODE: In May 2009, Favre asked for and was granted release from the Jets Reserve/Retired list, freeing him to sign with any team. Amongst speculation of another comeback, Favre admitted that he'd undergone arthroscopic surgery in his throwing arm.

FIFTEENTH EPISODE: On June 15th 2009, Favre stated that has considered playing again with the Minnesota Vikings, the team he really wanted to play for the previous year but never came to fruition.

SIXTEENTH EPISODE: On July 28th 2009, Favre told the the Vikings that he'd remain retired, stating that he couldn't go through the grind of another season. This is presumably the last episode in the Favre watch.
Guy 1: I heard Brett Favre is considering playing for the Vikings.
Guy 2: No he said he'd hang up the cleats for good.
Guy 1: So this is the last we'll hear from Brett Favre.
Guy 2: Probably not. In a couple months he'll probably add a new chapter to the Favre Watch.
by Baron6489 August 05, 2009
97 7
 
5.
HISTORY:
An American Alternative Rock/Rap Rock band founded in 1999 by Rob Werthner, Luis Espaillat, Kory Knipp and Tim Flaherty. The band is known for their loud style, strong rhythmic beats, epic guitar riffs and sexually explicit lyrics. The origin of the name comes from a nickname Werthner gave his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. He was a NYPD officer with a "feathery, out-of-date haircut."

VITAL STATS:

CURRENT MEMBERS:
Rob Werthner (Vocals & Guitar)
Tim Flaherty (Guitar)
Juan Chavallo (Bass)
Johannes Greer (Drums)

FORMER MEMBERS:
Kory Knipp
Luis Espaillat
Miles McPherson
Daniel Feese

LABEL(S):
Red Panda 7 (current)
Lava/Atlantic (former)

INFLUENCES:
Eminem
Limp Bizkit
Bloodhound Gang
Red Hot Chili Peppers

MAJOR WORKS:
Nutbag EP (2002)
Hot Action Cop (2003)
2009 EP (2009)

SINGLES:
Fever for the Flava (2003)
Goin' Down on It (2003)
Don't Want Her to Stay (2003)
Samuel L. Jackson (2002)

USES IN OTHER MEDIA:
The songs "Fever for the Flava" and "Goin' Down on It" have become popular party anthems and have been featured in various media from movies like Grind, American Wedding, The Hot Chick and The Real Cancun to TV Shows like Malcolm in the Middle, King of the Hill and The Man Show as well as video games like Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2. The songs have been edited and replaced with lyrics about cars in the latter.

The song "Samuel L. Jackson" was featured in the motion picture S.W.A.T and the song "Don't Want Her to Stay was featured in the video game Project Gotham Racing 2.
Guy 1: I don't like Hot Action Cop. All they do is sing about beer, girls and fucking.
Guy 2: What do you expect from a band called Hot Action Cop? Shakespeare?
Guy 1: I still don't like them.
Guy 2: That's because you're a douche.
by Baron6489 August 05, 2009
88 9
 
6.
A big budget ($150 Million) summer action film based upon a 1980's animated TV show based on a toy line from Hasbro that was released in 2007. Directed by Michael Bay and Produced by Steven Spielberg. It has just about the perfect blend of action and story. Sure it has lame, cliched dialogue and some bad acting but it also has Megan Fox to act as a counter-balance to distract teenage boys and the male audience in general.

This film centers around a race of friendly alien robots called the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime fighting an age old war between their archenemies, the Decepticons, led by Megatron. In search of the AllSpark, the war is brought to the planet Earth where Sam Witwicky, played by Shia LeBeouf, must intervene to aid in the Autobots quest and save himself, his family and the whole human race.

What's most remarkable about this film is the detail that went into the CGI robots (Nominated for an Academy Award although it didn't win) and the solid foundation that it paved for future Transformer films.

Over the course of it's Theatrical Run, it grossed over $319 million in the U.S. (Domestically) and $389 Million overseas (Foreign) for a Worldwide Box office draw of $708 Million. Despite the overwhelming commercial success, it was a critical bomb earning an overall 57% "Rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an overall 61% on Metacritic. The latter rating actually equates to generally favorable reviews on their review aggregator. It was succeeded in 2009 by Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Guy 1: Did you see the live-action Transformers film?
Guy 2: Yeah, it was awesome.
Girl 1: What?! Didn't you notice the lame dialogue and bad acting?
Guy 2: Nope, but I did see some awesome action sequences and...
Both: Megan Fox
(both high-five)
Girl 1: Ugh!
by Baron6489 August 03, 2009
85 22
 
7.
Name of the lead song and second official single, released July 2008, off of Tyga's debut album "No Introduction", which was released in the U.S. on June 10th 2008. Features chorus sung by Patty Crash.

Even though some view his song "Coconut Juice" as the better song of the two, Diamond Life has seen more commercial success, serving as a track in the video games "Need for Speed: Undercover", "Madden NFL 09" and the recent motion picture "Fighting".

There are two music videos for the song. One featuring Tyga in a gym getting ready to box and the other features a dramatized botched diamond heist featuring multiple crime families/criminal organizations. Both are listed as official.
Guy 1: You hear Tyga's new song?
Guy 2: What do mean? Coconut Juice has been out for a while now.
Guy 1: No, Diamond Life.
Guy 2: Diamond Life? That song sucks.
Guy 1: What? Screw you! Coconut Juice sucks!
Guy 2: Whatever queer.
by Baron6489 August 03, 2009
71 14