This delightful treat is bi-coastal... it involves being clubbed in the leg by a tri-nippled midget hooker after she discovers that you are paying for some 'intimate time' with Canadian money. After said clubbing, you hop into the nearest cab all the while the short-legged beast is chasing you yelling Gypsy curses.
Ex: Jeff's leg will heal but the pictures of him doing the Portland Hopscotch are priceless.
The Tiger Eye is a variation of the wrinkled penny or ballon knot... what makes the Tiger Eye destinctive is the hairy covering of the anus.
Anthony showed his Tiger Eye when his board shorts fell to his ankles during a recent run. "Anthony, your hole is so hairy it looks like a Tiger's Eye"
County of origin: Sac and Fox
When attacking a lady friend from behind she mentions that you might be the smallest thing she’s had since junior high. You then proceed to give her a wicked awesome YPSILANTI Uppercut which is performed whilst yelling ‘YPSILANTI’ at the top of your lungs.
It differs from the donkey punch
because you catch the chin as apposed to catching the base of the skull. Different style concussion, a different style of Stall0wnage.
Teh kicker: You probably are the smallest thing she’s had since junior high, but who’s on top and who’s on bottom now!
Thirdly: You can leave the room with out the awkward look of shame that most women have given you over the years
When Wanda insulted my manhood, I gave her a swift YPSILANTI Uppercut, drank her Crystal Light and left her on the bathroom floor to think about what she had done wrong.
Whilst a strapping young male is plowing away from behind at tiring verge of the lady of the house, the young male notices an unfortunate patch of unsightly hair growing on the northern rim of the balloon knot. Without diverting any noticable attention from his rear attacking duties, our young hero decides to pluck said hair why at the same time buring his shovel to an uncomfortable depth... thus creating the perfect divertion to achieve the much needed backyard gardening.
Teh kicker: this manuever is so versitile that it can be accomplished with hotwax, tweezers, or old-fashion fingers.
And thirdly: what woman isn;t thankful that you not only found the hidden hair but disposed of it. It good, honest fun.
Margo wants me to strap on my Backyard Gardner hat, because my first attempt left a hairy cheerio above her tiger Eye
Of course Manitoba
is essentially the French Dakota. And everyone knows that the Dakotas are home to some of the most sexually depraved humans this side of Bixby. Armed with that as background information, the Manitoba Monkey Wrench is the utensil that is found in every man’s tackle box, toolbox and utility belt. It is the very tool that can keep you alive on those subarctic nights in the local pub.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg
and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck
slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam
as a hickey from Ke...