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3 definitions by Ash Money

 
1.
A more efficient way of calling someone an optimistic realist. One becomes "optoreal" when he or she understands what will most likely occur, but nevertheless haphazardly hopes for the best possible outcome.
"I have conjunctivitis. I don't think I'll go to school tomorrow to make sure no one else catches it, even though I think it will be gone by tonight."
"Oh, I didn't know you were optoreal!!"
by Ash Money February 15, 2006
 
2.
Pink eye. It is an infection in the eye that's really contagious, ugly, and gross.

Not exactly a slang word, but it definitely sounds cooler than saying "pink eye."

Also, while this is not a sexually transmitted disease, if you have sex with someone with conjunctivitis, you will probably get conjunctivitis.
"Let's do it"
"Can't... I have conjunctivitis"
"Yucky"
by Ash Money January 02, 2007
 
3.
Obvi is a concise derivative of the word obvious or obviously. It is pronounced "ov-ee" - easier said than read - and is popular among Brits. It came over to America and was pretty much spread 'round the US like an STD. Obvi was invented shortly after the English sent people to the US for colonization. The English were becoming more and more infuriated with these new colonists, and lost their patience with these rebels. A poor American was caught saying "obvi" on accident, and the Brits began to say it mockingly. Unfortunately, the mockers saw their foolish mockery become a worldwide trend. And a darn good one at that.
Stupid: "Yo mama teeth so yellow, she something something something about butter!"
You: "Obvi"

Other: "That movie was dumber than dumb."
You: "That's obvi."
by Ash Money February 21, 2006