The man known
here on earth as Dale Earnhardt
. Dale Earnhardt
is the Light and the Way. He died so that
your drinking of imported beer would be forgiven. He suffered, died, and most of the pieces they
found were buried. He has risen
again, as Danica Patrick
, and will
come again from Formula
One to judge NASCAR and its fans.
He is seated
at the right hand
of the Father (Elvis), and his Kingdom will
have no end. Amen, y'all.