The man known here on earth as Dale Earnhardt
. Dale Earnhardt
is the Light and the Way. He died so that your drinking of imported beer would be forgiven. He suffered, died, and most of the pieces they found were buried. He has risen again, as Danica Patrick
, and will come again from Formula One to judge NASCAR and its fans.
He is seated at the right hand of the Father (Elvis), and his Kingdom will have no end. Amen, y'all.