played underwater upon horseback, often stallion, with an oversized croquet stick and a rubber football. Referees must be below 4 foot tall and coaches must be above 7 foot. Often attracts unwanted spectators and fans that shout ridiculous things like "Easy Meat" and "Hit him in the face with a woggle" Toggs must be worn at all time. If they "fall" off players must make a ring around the naked player to hide their meat and two veg. Common injuries include perferated eardrum and eyeball sucked out due to hit in the face whilst wearing goggles. Up to 10000 people and horses die each year and float to the surface, to be removed from the pool by fishing nets.
1)My horse has died, please can i have a sub ref?
3)Ahhh! my eyeball has been sucked out!
4)Oh dear my toggs have been torn off in a frenzied tackle, gather round lads!