A city of around 30,000 people in northeast Ohio, just west of Canton. Crazy high school football city. Baby boys born in Massillon are given small footballs in the hospital. In fact, Massillon's high school football team has the second winningest program in the nation behind Valdosta, Georgia. A couple of Massillon alumni include Paul Brown and former NFL linebacker Chris Spielman. The Massillon Tigers have a huge, nationally known rivalry with the next door Canton McKinley Bulldogs. This was the topic of the film Go Tigers!...Bobby Knight was also born in Massillon.
We don't care about school here in Massillon, just football. We also don't seem to mind the horrid stench of human waste drifting over from the landfill or sewage plant or whatever it is into the parking lot of the Wal-Mart either.
Something that will cost you a lot of money; about $800 to $1200...maybe more. More than likely, you will be leaking transmission fluid, which is reddish in color. If this is the case, your in trouble. In other words, if you have an older car and it's not worth much, just sell it for scrap. You're fucked. My car will not switch gears anymore, therefore, I have a bad transmission. I'm fucked. Take care of your car.
Me: I was driving yesterday and when my car shifted into third gear, I heard a clunking noise. That was the hardest shift I have ever felt. Is it a bad transmission problem?
My buddy: Dude, you're fucked.
As a matter of fact, the Ford Five Hundred will no longer be the name of the car. The Ford Company decided to stop production of the older roly-poly, boat-like Taurus, and name the Five Hundred the new Taurus mainly because of customer recognition for the 2008 brand.They also decided to name nearly every Ford car to start with an F except the Taurus; i.e. Fusion, Focus, Freesytle, F-Series... They decided that this was a good marketing move instead of actually competing with the reliable Japanese cars (most of which are made in America).
My buddy: I think I'm going to buy a Ford Five Hundred.
Me: Why is that?
My buddy: Because I like their marketing scheme. Most of the cars start with F's and 95% of their commercials only talk about the styling and how cool the car looks. Not the reliability, dependability, or resale value. It's a good company, I also saw you can stop an airplane on their commercial!
Me: You're an idiot.