To touch public surfaces after touching one's private areas, perhaps by utilizing the facilities, perhaps by self-pleasuring, perhaps by pleasuring someone else, without having the civil nature to wash one's hands first.
That Google guy dickhands the bathroom door every time. Why can't that guy wash his damn hands?
Someone whose seemingly-omniscient, categorical knowledge of any and every subject is derived solely from superficial wanderings through Wikipedia.
Person A: "That guy in the front row knows everything! He makes Steve Jobs look like an infant. Why isn't HE giving the lecture?"
Person B: "Nah, that guy's bogus. Total wikidemic. He hasn't hit the books or had any real professional experience in his life. He's got a degree in Animal Husbandry or Basket Weaving or something."
Primary indication of membership in Fauxhemian
society: placeless pretentiousness. This is followed closely by wearing clothes that don't look good on you, or anyone, because it's "cool," right alongside being critical and then hypocritical about whatever you were criticizing in someone else, often in the name of "irony
Secondary indications of self-election to doucheoisie
status include a fondness for the non-non-mainstream Pabst Blue Ribbon, more commonly referred to as PBR
, and feigning delight in subpar bands just because the mainstream has never heard of said bands. (Probably with good reason.)
Hipster douchebag tweet
s: "Wow, I can't believe that person tweets so much! Don't they have a life?"Hipster douchebag
gets a crappy haircut for the irony
of it after criticizing a coworker or social acquaintance's bad haircut the day before.