Also known as Ness, P-Ness, Loch Ness Monster
1. A decrepid caveman who clubs the fuck out of babies.
2. A teacher at RHS who is half myth,half legend. He screws in bolts with his bare hands and according to folk legend, threw a lawn mower across the room single handed. He also lifted a Jeep by himself onto a jack with one hand.
3. An ex NFL player, number 61. The biggest motherfucker to come out of Penn State without roids. He is the smallest of three brothers, at a mere 7'11" and 350 lbs.
4. Mr. Larson from Happy Gilmore. The guy with a nail in his head.
The guy probably can't jerk off cause he can't get his hand around his log.
1. "Man, where's Ness?"
"He's in 'the cave' again."
"Ah shit, there goes my little brother!"
"Eh, he fried out your 360, fuck him."
"Oh yeah. Fuck him."
2. "I've never seen Mr. Nessel before."
"NEVER CALL HIM MR. NESSEL. EVER."
"I heard he threw a lawn mower across the room?"
"Yeah, that's what happens when you throw enough shit at him."
3. "Ness, did you ever kill anyone in the NFL?"
"*Groans like a retarded caveman."
4. "I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore, Ness"
"Ugh ugh ugh QUIT SCREWIN AROUND!"