The study of breasts. Hootametrics is further divided into numerous subdisciplines, the most notable being Experimental Hootametrics and Hootology. Experimental Hootamatricians are concerned with gathering empirical evidence with little purpose except to gather said evidence. Hootology is "quack hootametrics". Hootologists are perpetually engaged in a quest for some deep metaphysical insight to be gained from finding breasts, especially their mystical tig ol bitties
"In New Orleans, during Mardi Gras, it's easy to find many people practicing Hootametrics."
"On the float trip last week there were a lot of Experimental Hootamatricians. They kept asking to be flashed, but didn't take any valid measurements or anything."
"My buddy the Hootologist is at it again. He's got his incense and pyramids out and he's babbling something about how breasts are aliens or something."