8 definitions by Allen75

Top Definition
To be denied services/participation from certain activities. Usually caused by disagreeable acts against a person, government, or something stupid you did.
Jim's Story:

After getting out of prison, Jimmy couldn't get a job anywhere but McDonalds. He felt he was blacklisted from any work other than crime or a McJob, so he went back to crime by stealing their chicken nuggets.
by Allen75 April 27, 2010
To delete, censor, or block something.

Has to do with the shitty law that the "wonderful" American government is trying to pass.
Guy 1: That fucker keeps posting dumb shit on my wall.
Guy 2: SOPA that shit.

Someone starts shit on your Facebook - SOPA it.

Comment making fun of you? SOPA that shit.
by Allen75 January 15, 2012
To be of Jesus quality (meaning the highest quality available) and either holy or almost holy.

Akin to Jesus.

Something or someone that excels excruciatingly compared to other objects or persons.
Video Games:
Dude, Modern Warfare 2 is Jesusness.

They said that GTA: IV was Jesusness, the controls suck and the movement is choppy as hell.

Technology:
Is the iPad going to Jesusness? It doesn't seem so good right now.

Pirating is Jesusness.

Girls:
Her boobs are Jesusness! Damn!

That ass, even Jesus would call it Jesusness.

Miscellaneous:

Bob: The .50 caliber is always so damn Jesus-like!

Jim: It's Jesusness.

Bob: It's the same thing.

Jim: True dat.

Ironically, depending on your religious views, Church itself may not be Jesusness.

Godly isn't cool anymore, Jesusness is the shit.
by Allen75 July 09, 2010
When a fuckton of people poke you on Facebook. Like a gangbang, but instead of dicks you get annoying fingers.
Poor Stan is being gang poked by all 845,000 of his Facebook friends.

Dani is being poked by all of the high school boys. Those gang poke sessions are devastating.

Being gang poked, not fun. Gang poking someone else, lots of fun.
by Allen75 January 11, 2011
Colorado Student Assessment Program, used to see if kids are actually getting somewhere in their years of schooling. The questions change slightly each year with increasing difficulty but very easy and stupid at the core. Everyone takes the same test state wide, so if a copy gets online, students are all fucked and may have to take it again.

Notes:

#2 (graphite) pencils are "required."

Mechanical pencils will do the job.

It is sometimes mandatory to sit until the 60~65 test period is up, depends on the teacher/proctor.

Writing swear words is okay, no one really cares anyways.

If you really don't care, guess as much as possible. It's a pointless test anyways.

*Possibly* going away in two years.

Synonyms: worthless, boring, dumb, waste of time, a guessing game, 5th grade stuff, a week off, half days, etc.

Often referred to by CO students (with many variations) as:
Colorado's Shitty Assessment (Program)
Dude, CSAP was so fucking boring, thank god I smoked some good ass weed.

I used a mechanical pencil on CSAP, there's no point in using #2 pencils.

CSAP is only important if it goes on your transcript man.

Did you even give a shit about half of the CSAP writing prompts? They suck more dick every year.

Thank god after Sophomore year it's over.
by Allen75 March 07, 2010
When the title suffices for both the subject and description.

Used when enough has been said in the subject.
Email Subject: I really need help with clearing out the stoners at ThunderRidge.

Body Text: Read the title.

Topic (in a forum posting): I need help finding lulz pics to piss a bitch off.

Message Body: Read the title, but anyways, she's a real ho that makes me sick.
by Allen75 August 06, 2010
When that new mattress feels like a cloud and you want to sleep all the time.

Origin: In Malcolm in the Middle (Season 7, 146-17), Malcolm and Dewey find a new mattress. Malcolm proceeds to sleep infinitely on the mattress, thus, Malcolm experiences the new mattress effect.
Bob: When I got my new mattress I put myself on mandatory bed rest to enjoy the supremacy over my old one.

Joe: That's the new mattress effect, I've had it too.

Tim: I've slept for three days on my new mattress, I can't tell if it's draining my soul or helping it.

Bob: I'm going through the same thing, it's the new mattress effect.
by Allen75 June 14, 2010

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