When your dick is small and pathetic looking in it's normal state, but when hard is like having a two by four in your pants.
I should let you know right now, I have a balloon dick.
Ugly, scrawny, stupid cunt who the media wants us to think is sexy, due to one of her ancestors getting into the business of renting rooms which, much like Paris herself, are often completely coated in semen.
The next guy who says he wants to fuck Paris Hilton, I'm gonna stab him in the eye with one of those pens that you click the tip in and out.
Police code for African Americans, and sometimes other minorities. Very popular with the LAPD.
I had to bash his head in, Captain. He was resisting arrest.
Patton Oswalt on "pulling a dubya": Bush isn't stupid, he's evil. There's a difference. When he talks about bombing Iraq, he's really eloquent and poetic, but when he talks about actually caring about another human being, that's when he tends to say things like "It's hard to put food on your family".
A hypothesized scenario, where a really shitty part of town becomes a dumping ground for honest, enlightened cops(ie Serpico), who all the crooked, racist cops regard as a pain the ass. The result of having a precinct full of good, upstanding cops is that the area does a total 180, becoming a near Utopia, where different races get along, there are no drugs(except a little weed, here and there), and everybody is happy and friendly.
"Isn't MLK Boulevard a bad area?"
"No, not lately. Since all the good cops have been sent there, it's starting to turn into a Serpico precinct."
To ruin something beautiful by trying to improve it.
You think I should lose weight?
Hey, don't put your foot through a Van Gogh, now.
When a really big guy has a large cock, but it looks small due to his over-all size, much like T-Rex's arms.
My cock is seven inches, but I'm 6'7", so it looks kinda dinky. I have a T-Rex dick.