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1 definition by Albert & George Payne

 
1.
Hybrid word used to describe a single individual called Jay in the north west area of London, England. The origins of the name dates back to around 2004 - 2005, and is an amalgam of the words Jaffa Cake and the british gangster flick Layercake featuring the current James Bond Daniel Craig (see think, thank, thonk). The Jaffa Cake (a popular biscuit-cum-cake bought in droves in Britain) part of the name Jayercake is due to the fact Jay is a constant user of his beloved Ultrabronze sunbed, thus giving him a heavily orange skin looking appearance.
The Layercake of the name Jayercake simply comes from the fact the inventors were watching Layercake during a heavy discussion of Jay.
Jayercake's characteristics include lust for money at the expense of others (he runs a Thai-Boxing, ex Gymnasium, of which he heavily extorts and persuades his customers who are mostly at the age 10 - 14 to purchase his inadequate 'goods'), his tendency to put on a fake cockney accent (see mockney) to entice potential business (also to have known to have done the same with the typical Jamaican accent), his dangerously orange skin, having a leather effect most of which around his anterior neck area due to his relentless sunbed usage, his annoying and irritating faux-surprised look everytime he greets a customer/potential victim, glasses at the end of his carrot-like nose, pesto-smelling personal room, being easily pushed around (i.e probably raped) by a few drunk irish gypsys emerging frequently from the local public house near by which is predominantly irish, pride of his hugely unimpressive Ford Probe (which he drives recklessly), Shotokan Tiger Dragon triple golden striped black belt which he claims to have achieved, claiming to know Master Sken very well, failed attempts at chatting up clients mothers, his love for his sunbed room (complete with spectators chair and also the most lustrous sicillian burgundy jungle of a carpet, the only place to have been fitted with carpet in the entire Gymnasium), his highly debated physique (one inventor feels he is at a good build for his age while the other believes he is a skinny deshevelled man), his lack of knowledge in the sport science field, his eagerness to sell his crumbling buisness to many of his clients, his dislike of Ghanaian Patrick (see woje), his falling out with Thai-Boxing instructor Leon due to Leon trying to sell fitness goods that do not belong to Jay, charging 5 pence a second to use his beloved sunbed, and being so thrifty with money, he refuses to pay for hot water in his premises (for a personal experiment i ran my hand under the hot water tap for 5 - 7 minutes and it was still stone cold).
Jayercake is a highly disliked individual, so much so that on two occasions he was left a voice message on his business phone on new years eve blasting many questionable aspects of his private life, such as warning him of the risks of his constant use of his beloved sunbed (highlighted by the fact he was told he will inevitably open the floodgates to skin cancer)
"Fuckin' Jayercake ripped me off again with a shitty Thai Boxing magazine, and it's all written in Thai about the Thai President. Cunt."

Tom: Who do you hate more than anyone in the whole entire Universe?
John: Jayercake
by Albert & George Payne April 11, 2008