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13 definitions by Abdallah Price

 
8.
A barbershop run by white guys in their 20s and 30s who effect a Guido style or similar faux-macho prettyboy bullshit. Everyone who works there has geometrical lines shaved into their head and facial hair, and a haircut runs you $30.00 minimum.

A place where you are most likely to hear the phrases, "Bro, that's sick!" or, "Yeah, I can do that tape-up for you."
"Fuck the brobershop, I'm getting my haircut at the old Italian guy's place down the road. I don't care if I have to walk five more blocks. I pay half the price and don't have to listen to Tiesto."

"Dude, I drove by the brobershop at 11pm. Swear to God, they were still in there listening to Tiesto and fistpumping."

"Pacha NYC keeps the brobershops in business."
by Abdallah Price February 21, 2013
 
9.
The act of sitting balls naked on the toilet while taking a shit and swigging some fine beer. Designated "Swiss" for the exquisite cocoa products comin' out yer bungbungbung.
GIRL: "Where's Francis? We gotta get to the concert?"

GUY: "Bastard's still at home havin' himself a Swiss dunk."

GIRL: "Ewwwwww... what kinda beer does he drink?"

GUY: "A lot of German beers."

GIRL: "That would figure. Now every time I see a German beer, I'm going to think of sloppy, drunk asshole."
by Abdallah Price May 10, 2012
 
10.
A hapless, clumsy shithead; someone scatalogically uncautious and careless who ends up with exactly what karma had laying in wait for him; a human being with a paper rectum who could potentially sneeze and spray a jet of Mexican molé sauce against the back wall of his undershorts.
1. "Dude, I've heard of 'don't trust that fart,' but this was more like, 'don't trust that sneeze.' Fucking shizzmungler left his underpants looking like Kurt Cobain on a Sunday morning."

2. "Nothing squishes my areolas with delight more than some shizzmungler doing the cha-cha and walking into an open manhole."
by Abdallah Price May 07, 2012
 
11.
A complicated and dangerous sexual event in which the woman lies prone on the bed while the man dresses up like D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers. The man then gets into an 18-wheeler with a Shawn Michaels dildo taped to the front bumper. After estimating the correct trajectory, the man will aim his heavenly missile at the house and not cease until he has achieved either penetration or a total property loss.

In the meantime, the woman is high on a cocktail of ecstasy and psilocybin mushrooms and is roused by the sound of repeated gongs.

There must be a lawyer, doctor, and qualified mechanic present.
"What in the heavenly fuck was that noise last night?!"
"Dad gave Mom a McBunga for their anniversary. Consequently, we have no place left to live. Mind if I crash with you for awhile?"
by Abdallah Price October 21, 2011
 
12.
Pronounced (SHY-za-BON), a bastardized pseudo-German phrase meaning more or less "shit highway." A term which was coined to describe the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn, New York.
"Eastbound on the Scheissebahn is backed up. AS USUAL."

"Why are we taking the Scheissebahn when we could just take the streets?"

"Watch out for assholes in Infinity G37x's on the Scheissebahn."
by Abdallah Price August 11, 2012
 
13.
1. An adjective describing the object of your pure, joyous rage. Your senses go on overdrive, like you took a hit of Bruce Lee's ashes laced with God's laughter. Basically, whatever has angered you has done it to the point that you are going to beat the bloody fuckin' shit out of it and go fly a kite in a speeding Jeep, after.

2. Describing a person who needs badly to be dropkicked. In the face.
"THIS IS DROPKICKTASTIC! FUCK YOU, GET BACK! I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE ALIVE! HAHAHAHA, SO MUCH BLOOD! FUCK YOU! YEAH! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!"

"Every time that hipster prick opens his mouth and tells me my music sucks, he becomes just a little more dropkicktastic."
by Abdallah Price November 07, 2010