10 definitions by 7Kev7

A small smear of excrement surreptitiously smeared on the back of one's girlfiend's neck before a girls' night out, in order to deter any would-be suitors.
The missus was going out on her work Christmas party the other night and that smarmy git from accounts was there, so I gave her a Chastity Patch when she asked me to fasten her necklace.
by 7Kev7 May 03, 2007
The contents of a well-used but badly flushed lavatory, the bangers (sausages) being the turds and the mash (mashed potato) being the bog roll.
"Cinders and ashes, Thomas, your coaches are a disgrace", cried the Fat Controller. "There's soot all over the windows, used tickets all over the floor and Clarabel's khazi is full of bangers and mash!"
by 7Kev7 October 04, 2007
A turtle's head. A turd that needs to come out.
"Elementary, my dear Watson. From these footprints, I deduce that our quarry was a left-handed doctor of unusually short stature, who had known prosperity but had recently fallen upon hard times, and judging by the short, irregular length of his stride it is apparent that he had a mole at the counter."
by 7kev7 October 25, 2007
Any person (especially a woman) who, from a distance, looks like they are worthy of a portion but upon closer inspection is revealed to be a right swamp-hog. A BOBFOC

Also abbreviated to NFFFFN
Person #1: "Phwooarr! Look at the arse on that sort! I'd give her one.... EURGH! She's got a face like a box of spanners!"

Person #2: "Ha ha! I told you her face was rough. She's nice from far, far from nice "
by 7Kev7 October 04, 2007
Any woman who thinks she is smarter than the average bloke.
(Overheard in the House Of Commons):

Female MP: "...and furthermore, I would like to point out that it was men who were responsible for starting the war, and men who..."

Male Speaker: "OK, OK, Professor Pissflaps, you've had your say, now let someone else speak".

by 7Kev7 October 04, 2007
Post self-abuse anguish. The feeling of guilt, regret and self-loathing immediately after masturbation. Combination of 'wank' and 'hangover'.
"Oh, no, I've got such a wangover. I swear I'll never do it again!"
by 7kev7 October 25, 2007
Two men, usually friends, who have both shared a twat, ie have both shagged the same woman. Also, see custard cousins.
I had a go on that bike from the pub at the weekend. That means you and I are now twatmates.
by 7Kev7 November 27, 2007

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