How to reading rainbow someone: Tell the person that you’re speaking with something interesting to the point where they are genuinely interested in the topic. When you reach the point where you think the person is most interested in what you have to say and asks you a question about the topic, respond by saying “Read the damn book…ba da da.” (3 note tune that is played in the actual show when a kid would give a book report and cut you off mid-story leaving you in serious suspense). Then inform them that they just got reading rainbowed. You can switch it up and when someone doesn’t believe what you’re telling them; respond by saying “But you don’t have to take my word for it, read the damn book…ba da da."
Tom: Did you know that it’s possible to slow down time when you’re traveling at the speed of light?
Mike: No way, that’s not even possible.
Tom: Yes it is, there have been a lot of studies done on it.
Mike: Wow, how did they figure that out?
Tom: Read the damn book son…ba da da.
Tom: You just got reading rainbowed.
This phenomenon happens when you see someone in their yard while driving around and they're standing and bent over tending to their garden. 99 percent of the time it's not a pleasant site and it can produce recurring images in your mind of a large object stretching out Capri pants to maximum capacity.
"Since the weather has been better lately, I'm seeing garden ass all over the place whenever I'm driving around."
When you're chillin with your girl and she's busy playing Candy Crush Saga, but you want to bust a nut. She can't have sex because she's focused on the game and her hands aren't available to jerk you off, so she gives you a foot job while playing Candy Crush.
"I was watching the football game last night at the house and my girl was busy playing Candy Crush Saga. Not only did she not talk to me for most of the game which is great, but she gave me a Candy Crush Foot Jerk...she's definitely marriage material."
When someone is lying down playing Candy Crush Saga, but the phone slips out of their hands and smashes them in the face. In some instances it can break someone's nose, knock a tooth loose, bust their lip open, or hopefully knock them out for a little while so they stop sending game requests on Facebook.
"My girl was playing a game of Candy Crush Saga, but it quickly turned into Face Crush Saga. The phone fell on her mouth and knocked a tooth out. She freaked out at first, but regained her composure after a couple of minutes and dipped her tooth in a bowl of milk until she could go see the dentist."