How to reading rainbow someone: Tell the person that you’re speaking with something interesting to the point where they are genuinely interested in the topic. When you reach the point where you think the person is most interested in what you have to say and asks you a question about the topic, respond by saying “Read the damn book…ba da da.” (3 note tune that is played in the actual show when a kid would give a book report and cut you off mid-story leaving you in serious suspense). Then inform them that they just got reading rainbowed. You can switch it up and when someone doesn’t believe what you’re telling them; respond by saying “But you don’t have to take my word for it, read the damn book…ba da da."
Tom: Did you know that it’s possible to slow down time when you’re traveling at the speed of light?
Mike: No way, that’s not even possible.
Tom: Yes it is, there have been a lot of studies done on it.
Mike: Wow, how did they figure that out?
Tom: Read the damn book son…ba da da.
Tom: You just got reading rainbowed.
This phenomenon happens when you see someone in their yard while driving around and they're standing and bent over tending to their garden. 99 percent of the time it's not a pleasant site and it can produce recurring images in your mind of a large object stretching out Capri pants to maximum capacity.
"Since the weather has been better lately, I'm seeing garden ass all over the place whenever I'm driving around."
The constipated looking facial expressions people make when it's really bright outside or when they look directly into the sun.
You seriously need to invest in some sunglasses. You're not gonna pick up any girls walking around looking sunstipated like that.
Take a massive shit on your girl’s stomach and have her mold it into something that looks like a beef patty. While she’s doing that, stand above her and recite any famous quote from a king.
Friend 1: I was burger kinging Tonya last night...that girl is a freak!
Friend 2: Nice...what did you say to her while you were burger kinging her?
Friend 1: I said “I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory.” It's a quote from Alexander the Great.