This is the act of cock blocking
yourself. This can be done for a variety of reasons including, but not limited to; fidelity requirements, embarrassment, awkwardness, sobering up in the nick of time, etc. Doesn't happen very often and typically results in feelings of confusion and possibly guilt.
The hottest chick ever hit on me last night at the bar, but with my wife home with the kids and no one else to save me, I masterblocked by donning a helmet and a hula hoop, while running out the door screaming like a little girl.
This phrase can be used as a replacement for "That's what he/she said", or "Sounds like my first time". Used to give a description of something out of the ordinary a sexual innuendo while at the same time making it appear as normal behavior for a Saturday night.
Linda: So yesterday at 11pm less than 12 hours before my kid's science project was due I had to run out to the store for a gallon of vegetable oil, 2 cucumbers, food coloring, a pound of butter, spray cheese, 6 kiwis, and a turkey baster. Came home, and after 4 hours of me doing most of the work, I was covered in a concoction of mystery sludge that would only wash off with a mixture of ammonia and floor soap. After all that, I'm still not finished.
Amy: Sounds like a Saturday night.