32 definitions by (I am) John Doe


GRF is an abbreviation for "Good Riddance Factor." (A term coined my Mark Moritz in "Cooper's Corner"--December 1990).

It is the momentary feeling of euphoria that accompanies the news that one low life has terminated another low life with a gun. In a broader sense though, the end result is the same regardless of the weapon used: the world temporarily becomes a better place, and it was not done at taxpayer expense.

It's a win-win for normal citizens, but the ACLU (a lobby for criminals) loses another prospective client.

Examples include (but are not limited to):

-- A drug buyer gets greedy and kills the drug dealer for his drugs.

-- A pussy gangbanger (aren't they ALL?) pops a cap into another pussy gangbanger in a turf war.

-- A child rapist gets shanked in prison by his fellow inmates.

-- a Longshoreman's Union thug kills a Teamster's Union thug with a garrote.

-- a Shi'ite Muslim terrorist blows up a Wahabbi Muslim terrorist.

-- a Chinese mobster gives his local Communist official acute lead poisoning with an AK-47.

Robert Sherrill is a liberal anti-gun reporter from New York. He wrote a book called "Saturday Night Special," mainly about how bad guns are. In it, however, he raised an interesting point, one that is a dirty secret, something which decent people are not supposed to mention publically:

Of the people killed with guns every year, how many are true "tragedies," and how many are we frankly better off without?

When drug dealer A kills drug dealer B, Handgun Control, Inc., marks it down as a terrible loss to society. In fact, drug dealer B may have been a boil on the butt of society, and will not be missed at all.

When Blood A kills Crip B, Sarah Brady wails "See, you are more likely to kill an acquaintance than a stranger."

When a women kills the man who has been beating her and the kids for years, the anti-gunners say, "If there had been no gun around they would have turned into Ward and June Cleaver and lived happily ever after."

I say GOOD RIDDANCE. One less drug dealer, one less wife abuser, one less psychopathic social parasite suits me just fine.

Certainly some good, innocent people die from gunshot wounds every year, but I wonder how many? Nobody keeps statistics on decent folks vs. dirtbags. So often when I read about a shooting in the newspapers, it seems to occur in the parking lot behind a bar at 3:00 a.m., and the victim has a tattoo of Satan on his arm and a rap sheet like a roll of Brawny paper towels.

Pardon me if I'm not heartbroken about society's terrible loss. Whenever you hear somebody talking about the number of tragic gun deaths, remember to adjust the statistics to take into account the estimated GRF.
by (I am) John Doe April 23, 2009
A denizen of the Democratic Underground blog.

Trademark DUmmies are known for their intolerance of diverse opinions, a deluded sense of their own self-importance, and ineffective activism.
"I'm E. Feet Liberal and I rely on 'DU' to keep me up with:

--words and ideas newly banned by the intellectually enlightened
--inane progressive ideology
--DNC talking points
--cheap shots aimed at anyone to the right of Noam Chomsky

When reality threatens my leftist bubble, I gain solace from being a DUmmie. The anti-American opinions and half-truths reassure me that my hand wringing, activism, and blogging is a wise life's devotion.

However, there are those who disagree with my utopian vision. They say my advocacy has no lasting spiritual value.

During these exchanges I use my 'rhetorical kung-fu' skills to mount an enlightened response. I stereotype the dissenters as 'typical racist, sexist, Freeper, inbred, wingnuts.' Then I dismiss everything that they have to say because, obviously, anyone who holds a differing opinion from a DUmmie is mentally ill.

If the unenlightened cloud the issue with FACTS, I ask libtard posters for backup. Via a consensus, we form a grassroots mob and bully the dissenters with ad hominems. Obviously this reaction is a responsible use of power, and we DUmmies make a difference in the all important blogosphere. (Mean people suck, and their free expression is not welcomed on the World Wide Web).

Will you help me in my efforts to quash wrong speech and wrong thoughts? (The Bill of Rights should be disallowed in red states because it is an obstacle to socially responsible progress).

(takes bong hit)

Power to the people!"
by (I am) John Doe October 20, 2009
A term that drives woeful homosexuals up a wall (because they oddly view it as a pejorative).

In short, the agenda is the sum total of homosexuals' sociopolitical aspirations including, but not limited to, such things as:

-- The decriminalization of sodomy.

-- The decriminalization of poppers and other drugs used in homosexual orgies.

-- The insistence that homosexuality be ACCEPTED by all humanity, not just TOLERATED by Western Europe and America.

-- The ostracizing of influential citizens (Hollywood actors, media celebrities, professional athletes, politicians, beauty contestants, corporate CEOs and their corporations, etc.) who oppose the homosexual agenda for political, or social, or moral, or common sense reasons. The homosexual mafia then runs point in a concerted effort to destroy the life, reputation and livelihood of the target.

-- The redefining of "queer" to mean "normal" and vice-versa.

-- The redefining of the word "disgust" to mean "homophobia", even though they are NOT synonymous.

With little effort, most of humanity conceives homosexuality as disgusting or aberrant but, whether these same people are actually "afraid" of homosexuals is a completely SEPARATE issue. (Some are and some are not, but regardless the disgust remains).

-- The demonization of anyone who does not accept homosexuals, and the choices they make, as: a homophobe, idiotic, ignorant, narrow-minded, closed-minded, or otherwise "unenlightened."

-- The Orwellian criminalization of free thought and free speech through support of "hate crimes" legislation.

-- Sucking as much money as possible out of our fat, bloated government to further development of a vaccine for HIV and cure for AIDS while simultaneously resisting the need for quarantine.

-- The rejection, or mass voting down, of Urban Dictionary definitions that are labeled "anti-gay" or "hateful" simply because they differ from the sociopolitical goals of the gay agenda. (Now THERE'S diversity in action).

-- Legalizing same sex marriage and same sex adoption of minors.

-- Lowering the age of consent for minors.

-- The decriminalization of pedophilia.

Hetero Guy: "I oppose the gay agenda because it is wrong on so many levels."

Homo Ray: "Well, that is just your subconscious attempt to prove that you are not gay."

Hetero Guy: "So being gay is an undesirable thing then?"

Homo Ray: "Of course not."

Hetero Guy: "Then why do I and 98 percent of the rest of humanity resist it if it is such a good thing?"

Homo Ray: "Maybe because you're all ignorant, close-minded homophobes."

Hetero Guy: "And maybe you have bought the lie that you were born that way. Please know that there is hope for your situation. You don't have to be spiritually bound up any longer; there is deliverance and healing available to you."

Homo Ray: "Tell me more."
by (I am) John Doe August 22, 2009
When written at the end of a comment, "/sarc" indicates that the writer has been in "sarcastic mode," informing the readers not to take the comment seriously.

The term is a parody of HTML codes, in which one exits a text format by putting a slash in front of the style type. Thus, to stop text from being bold, one would code "/b"; so (humorously) to exit a comment that has been sarcastic, one writes "/sarc."

"The Islamic oppression in Darfur is getting worse, and the United Nations is more useless than tits on a nun. It infuriates me that the U.S. tolerates the constant undercurrent of anti-American rubbish and lies.

Honestly, of all the things that the U.N. has done, or has attempted to do, how many of them have turned out well?

It's all a load of socialist utopian claptrap and they need to move to Geneva!"

posted by: Shepherd Book


"Well, you can't spell 'UNNECESSARY' without U-N."

posted by: Capt. Malcolm Reynolds


"The only reason that the U.N. is completely ineffective is due to a lack of funding.

As the world's lone superpower, America is morally obligated to donate at least 30 percent of our GDP to help make the world a better place. That kind of cash infusion would also help increase the General Assembly's budget for drugs and hookers.

Give peace a chance."


posted by: River Tam

by (I am) John Doe May 16, 2009
Acronym for: "Preview Is My Friend."

It is seen in blog comments when a commentator notices a mistake in one of their previous posts and attempts to correct said mistake.

It is a lighthearted mea culpa.
#7 Getalife: "This site blows! It is nothing but an echo chamber. Besides, no one cares about your opinion except for you! (And, honestly, why should they)?

Come on sheeple, the clock is ticking, and NOTHING that is said or done HERE will make a bit of difference in the real world. Seriously, you need to get a real jb and get a life!"


(Intermediate comments are posted.)


#16 Getalife: "RE: #7--'Seriously, you need to get a real JOB and get a life!"

by (I am) John Doe May 14, 2009
A fake troll, or false troll.

Someone who posts an idiotic or inflammatory comment as a joke, not because they seriously believe what they are writing.

A prankster who assumes the online persona of a troll.

NOTE: It is important for the froll to be well known on the site in question, otherwise "the humorous impact is somewhat dissipated" when newbies think that the froll is a troll.

Worker #1 "Did you check out the political blog last night?"

Worker #2 "Sort of. I was bored with the same old strife and debate, so I decided to be a froll just for laughs. Making stuff up was actually more entertaining than the subjects under discussion."
by (I am) John Doe May 18, 2009
The plural form of libtard. As repetitive as it sounds, it stands for "liberal retards."

Libtards want to live in a fantasy world (in which life is the way that they WISH IT WAS) as opposed to dealing with life the way it actually is.

The most idealistic among them envision science/technology and Socialism eliminating all poverty, hunger, war, disease, injustice, unemployment and prejudice. (It is a nice pipe dream, but human nature will forever stand in the way of that goal).

Most libtards subscribe to the notion that "people are basically good", and build their foundation for activism and "improving the human condition" on that faulty premise. Because they deny the facts about human nature, their "reasoning" is diametrically opposite to common sense (blue states vs. red states).

The reality that people have different initiative levels, are basically selfish, and often work for their own interests before helping others, puts libtards' panties in a wad. So, when citizens will not voluntarily comply with various libtard prescriptions for "the common good", then laws must be passed to MAKE them comply. (It is the gradual path to totalitarianism). Likewise, their naïve cries of: "can't we all just get along?" and "there is nothing worth dying for" are red flags for anyone with a clue.

Metaphorically speaking, libtards are sheep who think that their grasp of diplomatic nuance or metaphysical sensitivity will prevent their flock from being devoured by the world's Islamic/Communist wolves. When America, the sheep dog, responds to wolf attacks, libtards judge these defensive actions as offensive and wolfish.

Since libtards are unable to recognize our enemies for what they are, they cannot be trusted to safeguard our future.


In a large nutshell, libtards are groups and individuals whose goals include one or more of the following:

--the establishment of a Socialist "utopia" (a.k.a. a global nanny state)
--"benevolent" totalitarian control of the world's population through any means necessary
--ever increasing government micromanagement of private enterprise (a.k.a. clueless meddling)
--the adoption of laws, treaties and tax regulations that hinder America's competitiveness
--the usurpation of the legislative process, at all levels, through judicial fiat
--the filing of specious law suits in order to thwart the will of the people (e.g. Calif. Proposition. 187)
--the promotion of the tyranny of the minority
--the filing of specious law suits to shakedown corporations for cash (under the guise of "social responsibility")
--the disproportionate taxation of citizens "who have more money than they need"
--the redistribution of wealth from producers to non-producers (under the guise of "fairness")
--the banning and confiscation of all privately owned guns (even though it has lead to genocide)
--the abolition of all private property rights
--the destruction of all national sovereignty (America first, of course)
--the destruction of Capitalism
--the establishment of one religion (with no personal accountability), OR the abolition of all religion
--the appeasement of Islamic radicals and their American front groups like CAIR (see: Religion of Pieces)
--the regulation, or banning, of all opposition media (under the guise of "fairness")
--the appeasement of Communist dictators and their American front groups
--the further insertion of Socialist ideology and indoctrination into public school curricula
--the purposeful "dumbing down" of the masses through inane public school curricula and pedagogy
--mass thought control through "speech codes" and political correctness
--the further promulgation of the homosexual/pedophile agenda
--the teaching of HATE (superficially disguised as "Women's Studies", "African Studies", etc.)
--the legalization of marijuana ("far OUT, man")
--the establishment of world wide socialized medicine (under the guise of "fairness")
--the conservation of the environment over the conservation of the American economy
--the demonization of attempts to make English America’s national language
--world peace (which genocidal dictators define as: "the absence of conflict"--dead men cannot resist your brutal oppression)
--the conservation of the environment over the conservation of humanity
--the promotion of abortion as birth control, eugenics, and teaching the theory of evolution as fact (even though the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics precludes it from the get-go)
--the abolition of individual freedom

Not surprisingly, there is a thread of anti-Americanism that runs through these ideas. Libtards cannot stomach the idea that America, despite its faults, is the greatest country in the world. As such, they see it as their duty to tarnish the country's current and past image using all available means including: cherry picking facts and using innuendo, half-truths, lies and fabrications (see: Rathergate).

Libtards’ actions undermine America's educational system, economy, criminal justice system, military personnel, sovereignty, security, and freedoms. Meanwhile, they try to fabricate a moral equivalence with rogue nations like China, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, Syria, Somalia and Sudan. (But don't question their patriotism).

NOTE TO ALL MALCONTENTS: If America is truly evil, please pick yourself a better country.

If the health care system in Cuba, Canada or Great Britain is superior to America's, then you are free to leave. If the crime rate in China, North Korea or the Magic Kingdom is so much lower, then you too are free to leave. Not enough hedonism for you? Then try Amsterdam, Bangkok or Tijuana.

If life in general is better in Sweden, The Netherlands or Switzerland then WHY are you still here??? You talk big, but you lack the courage of your convictions. So do humanity a favor--shut up and move away.

Otherwise get a real job, and get a life, because you obviously have WAY too much time on your hands.


Because most libtards are pantheists (New Agers), agnostics, atheists, liberal Jews, liberal Catholics, or have otherwise turned their backs on Jehovah, they lack true spiritual fulfillment. In order to try and fill that void, and "to make a difference", they work for the causes listed above. A pretty complete listing can be found at discoverthenetworks.org.

Libtards can be seen conducting protests, rallies, marches, bike rides, etc. in feckless attempts to change whatever supposedly needs changing (see: muckadoo). Their desire to revisit the "glory" days of the 60's is sometimes a driving force. Regardless, the end result is usually the same: nothing actually changes.

But, since libtards want to be rated for their good intentions, versus actual results, they leave these activities with a feeling of success "because they have raised awareness" or "let their voices be heard." Post-protest gatherings often feature excessive drinking, drug abuse, and impromptu fornication to celebrate the "victory."

Because conservatives take responsibility for themselves and their children, have real jobs, under gird the economy, and value their time, their counter protesting is often negligible.

It is not that they don't care about their causes; they just understand that 1968 tactics are useless. Likewise, their sense of self worth does not come from how well they perform at work, or in life, but from a realization that they have been given a good and satisfying destiny that no one can take away.

With all of this in mind, may we NOW question their patriotism???
“You are listening to CNN, the Communist News Network.”

Anchorman: “Good morning, I’m E. Feet Liberal. Our top story, disastrous former mayor of Cleveland, Dennis Cucinich, has been appointed to head the newly created Department of Rainbows, Unicorns and Dandelions. When told of his appointment, Cucinich remarked,

‘As former ambassador to the Crab Nebula, I am looking forward to bringing my diplomatic expertise to the problem of terrorist, er, civilly challenged attacks on our planet. I even stopped by a gift shop on Alpha Centauri and bought a new pair of rose colored glasses!’

We now go to Chip Onner-Shoulder for a live report.”

Womyn Reporter: “Thanks E. Secretary Cucinich wasted no time in convening a meeting with top terrorist, er, civilly challenged leaders and their fellow travelers from CAIR. Among the items on the agenda were: convert to Islam or die, the institution of Shari’a, the obliteration of Israel, and bring them the head of Jerry Springer on a stick. Let’s listen in.”

Cucinich: “There there Abdul, why don’t we all take a ten minute break and go to our ‘happy places’?”

Terrorist, er, Civilly Challenged heathen: “You clueless libtards are such fools. Death to those who insult Islam!”

Cucinich: “Now now Abdul, I know that you have legitimate grievances, but America has a Band-Aid big enough for any third world boo boo. Hey what’s that under your dirty nightshirt?”


Womyn Reporter: “Oh my Gaia! That man just detonated an explosive vest. He must have been a Mossad agent. I’ll try and get a comment from CAIR’s spokeswhore. Excuse me sir, was this the work of Israeli intelligence?”

CAIR Spokeswhore: “Of course it was you decadent whore! And how dare you show your ankle in public! Now kneel down and receive your beating.”

Womyn Reporter: “But I thought Islam was the Religion of Peace!”

CAIR Spokeswhore: “It IS. And if you call us violent, we’ll kill you!”

Womyn Reporter: “Can we stand in a circle and sing Kumbayah?”

CAIR Spokeswhore: “Allah no.”

Womyn Reporter: “Can’t we all just get along?”

CAIR Spokeswhore: “Yes, when you’re dead.”

Womyn Reporter: (backing up) “Stay away from me you seventh century, scum-sucking pig dog, and put DOWN that scimitar! Hellllp!”

Anchorman: “Chip! Chip are you still there? Well, we seem to be having some technical difficulties with Chip’s mic.

In other news, the Sierra Club is lobbying Congress to develop wind-powered commuter jets. Club spokeswhore Molly ‘Bean Sprout’ Jones commented, ‘They’re already up in the air; so what’s the difficulty?’”
by (I am) John Doe May 15, 2008

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