Someone who thinks they know everything and try to act super smart by saying very little. A lot like a philosopher, but just not. at all. Fauxlosophers tend to attend an art school.
-How may I help you?
-3 but yet 4, what shall I help you with?
-GTFO out my store fauxlosopher!
-I have freedom; freedom of mind. Society has clogged your mind--
*tasered to the ground*